I don’t know what the statistic is for people wanting to lose weight to be healthier. I know that my motivation was never to be healthier; it was only to be thin. My thinking was, “If I could only be thin, I would be happy.”

Most of the time I dieted for the following reasons:

• It was my annual New Year’s resolution
• I was attending an upcoming reunion, wedding or party that I was invited to
• And always – the start of swim suit season or a vacation that would involve wearing a swimsuit

Notice none of these reasons were to feel better and be healthier. Also, none of these reasons involved a long-term goal. It was always a short-term fix.

I would reach a certain weight and my self-loathing would drive me to take some drastic action in the form of the latest diet, supplement, you name it – I tried it.

One motivation technique I used to lose weight was to keep a skinny pair of pants, usually two sizes too small, as a goal to strive for. All the pants did was reinforce how fat I had become. The truth of the matter was that I had never even worn the pants anywhere but in front of the dressing room mirror when I bought them and in front of my own mirror at home!

Another technique I’ve seen time and time again is someone tearing out a picture of a super model and taping it on their refrigerator door, right at eye level. This is supposed to motivate them to lose weight by constantly looking at the image  – a visualization exercise to help them visualize the goal and bring it into reality.

But there’s one problem… the super model is six feet tall and blond and the person wanting to lose the weight is five foot two and a brunette. Let me enlighten you, “Ain’t gonna happen.” If this person is successful in losing weight, when they look in the mirror, they aren’t going to see a super model. They will still see a short, brunette, and most likely, an image of a fat person looking back at them.

Yet, how many people use celebrities and super models as their bench mark for beauty and the results aren’t attainable? The media assaults us with images of how we are supposed to look. The irony is that through photography programs, these images aren’t even real to begin with! Chew on that for a while, calorie free.

The only way to be in the 5% is to realize that your self-esteem doesn’t come from looking in the mirror. Everyone’s outward beauty is going to fade over time. That’s a fact.

To be in the 5% of losers who are winners, you must begin to look in the mirror and love the person you see. You must care for the wonderful body you were given by eating well, getting enough rest and exercising. You must use food for sustenance and not love, comfort or even anger.

You must retrain your mind to think differently about yourself and about your eating habits. So when you do look in the mirror, the fat person you once saw will no longer be staring back at you. You’ll discover the real you who has been hiding under layers of fat and unhealthy beliefs. You’ll turn from being a loser to a winner, not only in the sport of dieting, but ultimately, you’ll be a winner in gaining control over your life. To read more about my triumph, check out my book The Freedom to Eat.

If dieting were an Olympic sport, I would have won more gold medals than Michael Phelps.

I lost weight using every diet fad or weight loss program I signed up for. I also gained back every pound and more. When people ask me how much weight I’ve lost, I’ll tell them, “1,247 pounds – the same 20.”

I wasn’t alone and neither are you. Statistics show that 95% of people gain all of their weight back. The New England Journal of medicine states that most people gain one-third of their weight back in the first year and all of their weight back within three to five years.

These odds are pretty daunting, that only 5% of people lose their weight and keep it off. But losing weight and keeping it off is tricky. It’s not just about calories in and calories out. Diets do work in slimming down. I’m living proof of that. I was an extremely successful dieter.

It wasn’t until I changed my thinking that I was able to graduate from a loser to a winner. It wasn’t until I understood why I used food and why I ate too much, that I was able to change my behavior to get the ultimate results I always wanted and end my struggle with weight forever.  To find out the ten steps that worked for me, check out my book, The Freedom to Eat.

Valerie Bertinelli said, “I have obsessed about my weight in some sort of way all of my life.” And when asked if she felt like she had succeeded once and for all with maintenance, she said, “I won’t know if I’ve conquered maintenance until the day I die.” 

Marie Osmond said, “I started dieting at the age of 10.”  She said that she tried, “Everything from diet pills to starving myself, to bulimia.  You name it, I tried it.”

Star Jones went from 300 pounds to 160 pounds.  She says, “I’m still 300 pounds in my head some days.” 

Not only did all three women still look tortured, but Oprah was emotionally touched as well.  I sat there and shook my head in sadness.  My story is their story.  I tried everything to lose weight.  I spent forty years of my life obsessing about my weight and body image.  How many other millions of women share this same story – those in and out of the media spotlight? 

When I talk to people from my past, friends or business associates about my book, The Freedom to Eat, and tell them about my story of how I struggled with weight and low self-esteem and how I overcame that struggle, every person has said, “I didn’t know you had all of those issues.  I didn’t know you went through everything you did.” 

Of course no one knew!  We suffer in silence.  All of these women are bright, beautiful and talented.  This preoccupation of not being good enough has to come to an end.  This obsession with beauty and thinness and meeting unrealistic standards has to end.  We need to turn our self loathing into self love.  We need to take care of ourselves first instead taking care of everyone else.  If we need to lose weight, we need to lose weight because it means being healthy and happy, not losing weight at all costs.

Join me in The Freedom to Eat – to eat, live and love your life.

If you have a man in your life who normally doesn’t cook, grilling is the perfect way to get them involved. There’s something about men and fire! I have an image of Tim Allen in my head from the 90’s series Home Improvement, hearing his signature, “Oh, Oh, Oh – Ar, Ar, Ar,” Neanderthal noises any time he was around a tool or machinery!

You’ll find out that I am all about enjoying good food! This last weekend we saw some friends who for dessert served hot blueberry and peach pies topped with vanilla ice cream. They purchased the pies from a Presbyterian Women’s group. Wow, were they good.

My book, The Freedom to Eat, is all about not dieting anymore, being healthy and being able to enjoy things like hot blueberry pie and peach pie with ice cream – without guilt! Now you can’t have desserts like this every day, but you can have some tasty alternatives that won’t pack on the calories. In the future, I’ll be sharing a lot of my recipes for fast, healthy food. I’m also always looking for great new wines to try. Wine to me is like art. There is so much creativity, love and care that goes into making it. So, if you have any fabulous wines that you love, please respond in the comment section.

With the start of grilling season, here’s a great peach pie recipe without the crust and the labor. I’m basing this recipe on two servings. You can just increase the ingredients to fit. Ingredients: Large peaches, not overly ripe – about the size of a baseball. Each peach will represent two servings. Vanilla (half a capful per half peach), brown sugar or brown Sugar Twin (my husband really dislikes artificial sweeteners, but he can’t taste the difference with the Sugar Twin – I use the Sugar Twin), Triple Sec Liquor.

Cut the peaches in half, discard the pit and put them on a dish pit side face up.

Sprinkle brown sugar on top of the peach. ½-1 teaspoon is all that you need. Pour half a capful of vanilla on top of the peach. Pour 1-2 teaspoons of Triple Sec on top of the peach. You can do this ahead of dinner so that the flavors will marinate a little bit. If the liquid runs down the sides, that’s great.

These will go on the grill. Put the pit side down and pour the remainder of any liquid on the top of the peach. Grill between two and three minutes per side until soft. Serve pit side up with your favorite vanilla ice cream. You can even use light or sugar free ice cream if you wish. It tastes just like a peach pie or cobbler. The Triple Sec and brown sugar cause a glaze that really brings out the flavor of the peach. Enjoy!