I’m standing here with my new friend, Deb Ingino. Her passion is helping people discover their strengths through her company My Wired Style.

In our society we are told to focus on our weaknesses to try to improve them. Remember when you were in school and it was report card time? You might have gotten four A’s and one C. But guess where the focus was? I would guess on the C. Instead of receiving praise for the four A’s I would venture to guess that the question would have been, “What’s with the C?” And the additional comment would be, “You have to work on that.”

I used to think that something was wrong with me because I was always so restless. I found out that one of my strengths was to achieve and always go onto the next thing. I could never understand why I felt that way. Thanks to the assessment report that I completed, I was able to find out my strengths and how I was wired. It was empowering.

If you have children, what a great gift it would be to help them to find out how they are wired so that they can embrace all of their strengths and talents while they are young. Deb has programs for adults AND children.

As the Greek philosopher, Socrates said around 400 B.C., “Know thyself.” Or as Benjamin Franklin wrote in his 1750 Poor Richard’s Almanac - “There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one’s self.”

The advice is as good today and easier to come by than in Mr. Franklin’s day thanks to Deb’s Personality System Report.

The better we can understand ourselves, the better we will be at understanding others. We are all unique and bring our gifts and personalities to the world. Knowing our strengths helps us in the business world, with friends and with our families.

“Comparison is the thief of joy”.

How often do we compare ourselves to others? All of the time!

Society puts a tremendous amount of attention on youth and beauty.

We have to be aware of how we talk to ourselves and how we treat ourselves. Some of the critical things we say internally we would never say to anyone else.

Women tend to be caretakers. The only problem is that we usually take care of everyone else but us. We’re not only last on our list, but our needs might not even make it to the list!

So, this Valentine’s Day, make sure you love the most important person in the world, YOU! If you catch yourself comparing yourself in an unhealthy way to others, stop.

Let me leave you with another quote I love from Carrie Wilkerson, “There is only one you. Everyone else is taken.”

I don’t know what the statistic is for people wanting to lose weight to be healthier. I know that my motivation was never to be healthier; it was only to be thin. My thinking was, “If I could only be thin, I would be happy.”

Most of the time I dieted for the following reasons:

• It was my annual New Year’s resolution
• I was attending an upcoming reunion, wedding or party that I was invited to
• And always – the start of swim suit season or a vacation that would involve wearing a swimsuit

Notice none of these reasons were to feel better and be healthier. Also, none of these reasons involved a long-term goal. It was always a short-term fix.

I would reach a certain weight and my self-loathing would drive me to take some drastic action in the form of the latest diet, supplement, you name it – I tried it.

One motivation technique I used to lose weight was to keep a skinny pair of pants, usually two sizes too small, as a goal to strive for. All the pants did was reinforce how fat I had become. The truth of the matter was that I had never even worn the pants anywhere but in front of the dressing room mirror when I bought them and in front of my own mirror at home!

Another technique I’ve seen time and time again is someone tearing out a picture of a super model and taping it on their refrigerator door, right at eye level. This is supposed to motivate them to lose weight by constantly looking at the image  – a visualization exercise to help them visualize the goal and bring it into reality.

But there’s one problem… the super model is six feet tall and blond and the person wanting to lose the weight is five foot two and a brunette. Let me enlighten you, “Ain’t gonna happen.” If this person is successful in losing weight, when they look in the mirror, they aren’t going to see a super model. They will still see a short, brunette, and most likely, an image of a fat person looking back at them.

Yet, how many people use celebrities and super models as their bench mark for beauty and the results aren’t attainable? The media assaults us with images of how we are supposed to look. The irony is that through photography programs, these images aren’t even real to begin with! Chew on that for a while, calorie free.

The only way to be in the 5% is to realize that your self-esteem doesn’t come from looking in the mirror. Everyone’s outward beauty is going to fade over time. That’s a fact.

To be in the 5% of losers who are winners, you must begin to look in the mirror and love the person you see. You must care for the wonderful body you were given by eating well, getting enough rest and exercising. You must use food for sustenance and not love, comfort or even anger.

You must retrain your mind to think differently about yourself and about your eating habits. So when you do look in the mirror, the fat person you once saw will no longer be staring back at you. You’ll discover the real you who has been hiding under layers of fat and unhealthy beliefs. You’ll turn from being a loser to a winner, not only in the sport of dieting, but ultimately, you’ll be a winner in gaining control over your life.

Sign up for my free report: Secrets the Diet Marketers Won’t Tell You – How to Lose Weight Forever by clicking here.

If dieting were an Olympic sport, I would have won more gold medals than Michael Phelps.

I lost weight using every diet fad or weight loss program I signed up for. I also gained back every pound and more. When people ask me how much weight I’ve lost, I’ll tell them, “1,247 pounds – the same 20.”

I wasn’t alone and neither are you. Statistics show that 95% of people gain all of their weight back. The New England Journal of medicine states that most people gain one-third of their weight back in the first year and all of their weight back within three to five years.

These odds are pretty daunting, that only 5% of people lose their weight and keep it off. But losing weight and keeping it off is tricky. It’s not just about calories in and calories out. Diets do work in slimming down. I’m living proof of that. I was an extremely successful dieter.

It wasn’t until I changed my thinking that I was able to graduate from a loser to a winner. It wasn’t until I understood why I used food and why I ate too much, that I was able to change my behavior to get the ultimate results I always wanted and end my struggle with weight forever.  To be continued…..

Sign up for my free report: Secrets the Diet Marketers Won’t Tell You – How to Lose Weight Forever by clicking here.

It’s been a while since I’ve written about our adopted yellow Lab, Wilson. There’s the little lad to the left. The picture may be a little blurry because he is always moving! Okay, I exaggerated… sort of.

I have come to discover that having a puppy is like going through childbirth. It’s very painful.

Let’s see, so far, because of chewing, neediness and being left alone for short periods of time we have lost two pair of eyeglasses, a sketch book, a journal, several rolls of toilet paper, a Handel’s Messiah score…. Not to mention teeth marks on an Ipod, telephone, remote control and shoes. I could go on, but you get the picture.

Anyone who knows me knows that I had a golden retriever named Duffy, who was my best friend in the entire world. He died a year ago. Duffy was the perfect dog so Wilson has big paws to fill. Every indiscretion that Wilson commits has me a little exasperated.

Then I started thinking back to when Duffy was Wilson’s age – two years old. All of these memories came pouring back. There is an expensive Drury rug in my son’s room with the corner chewed off because of Duffy being left alone one day. Then there was the Sony Play Station cord that was destroyed, with a pair of Kenneth Cole shoes, and, and….  Hmmm…. I had totally forgotten all of Duffy’s poor behavior as a puppy.

It’s really similar to childbirth. I don’t think about the two day labor process that ended in a c-section when I gave birth to my son. I just think about having this great kid.

You might get irritated if you become forgetful. But let’s give God thanks that He created our amazing brains to forget the bad stuff like the pain of childbirth and raising a puppy.

My friend Denise and I have been getting together for decades for our annual Christmas dinner together. We met last night and she told me this true story. I thought it was funny, yet sad and shocking, so I had to share it..

She works for the public school district tutoring children from kindergarten to fourth grade.

Always thinking of special things she could do for her kids, she found some really cute and festive holiday stickers to reward them during the month of December.

It is school policy that anything brought in from outside the school’s curriculum is reviewed by the principal. So, Denise brought her enthusiasm and her stickers into the principal for review.

The first sheet of stickers had images of Santa. Denise was told that she couldn’t use them.

The second sheet had images of Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. The third sheet had images of candy canes. On both she was also told she couldn’t use.

The fourth sheet (I told you she was enthusiastic. Did I mention persistent?) was full of Christmas trees. She was told that she couldn’t use those either. After this last rejection, Denise finally asked why she couldn’t use any of the stickers. The principal replied because they resembled a Christian holiday.

With her attitude changing from enthusiasm to getting annoyed at this point, brazen, she held up a sheet of stickers with images of Menorahs to symbolize Hanukkah. The principal was not pleased. She nixed those as well. Denise would have purchased Kwanza stickers too, but the store didn’t have any. Just as well.

The principal explained that there could be nothing presented that was at all religious in nature. What the school did celebrate as its holiday was winter. Merry winter!

Not to be totally thwarted, Denise presented stickers of snow flakes and snowmen. Ah, the principal nodded and gave her approval.

Denise then blurted out, “Wouldn’t the snowmen insult the global warming enthusiasts?!!?”

The principal looked at her with a combination of part irritation and part sneer and told her that she would not at all be surprised if some parents complained about the snowmen.

I don’t know about you, but this story has encouraged me to curl up in front of my Christmas tree with a large glass of eggnog, watch the movie – It’s a Wonderful Life then go to bed reading the Christmas story from the book of Matthew with an extra layer of blankets to keep me warm and finish the day praying for peace on earth and goodwill to all.

1. Don’t let the added demands of the holiday season steal your joy

2. Ask someone you admire for a recipe

3. Volunteer to help others

4. Purchase a real Christmas tree, chop down your own tree (this is an event in itself) or purchase a real tree to plant later.

5. Do something you have thought about and talked about but have never done. (Attend a concert, look at Christmas windows, go see a Christmas lighted display, etc.)

6. Go to church. There are a wide variety of times and services during this time of the year

7. Send real Christmas cards – You can go online and have them custom made in a matter of minutes

8. Listen to Christmas music

9. With children – read Christmas stories – Don’t spend money, go to the library. Pick them out together. Add Christmas songs to your nightly lullabies

10. Decorate “green” – Use real pine rope and wreathes, cranberries to fill hurricane lamps

11. Bring some sort of decoration to your office to keep work from zapping your joy!  Think good will and peace on earth – and the office.

12. Attend a Christmas concert – there are always lots of opportunities from small to grand

13. Take a walk or drive around your neighborhood at night to see the Christmas lights.

14. Reconnect with someone you’ve been thinking about.

15. Make a favorite treat from your childhood.

16. Start an ornament collection by purchasing one every Christmas.

17. Watch a Christmas movie.

18. Turkeys aren’t just for Thanksgiving! Cook a turkey for Christmas.

19. Write down family stories before they are lost forever.

20. Pray for friends, family, loved ones, our country and our world.

21. Go to any dollar type store and buy Christmas bags if you don’t like to wrap presents. If you are wrapping, make sure you save yourself enough time to wrap and don’t wait until the last minute.

22. A gift doesn’t have to cost money. Give a busy mom a baby sitting gift certificate that you make, give your own gift card for chores, foot massages, back rubs. Get creative. People want the gift of our “presence” not always a “present”.

23. Really read the words of Christmas carols and not just sing them.

24. Take in the stillness of Christmas Eve. Be still and savor some time alone.

25. Sometime between the activities of the day, take a walk and enjoy the most special day of all holidays.

I am blogging daily in more detail on how I am using each of these ideas in December on my other site dedicated to prayer, meditation and contemplative practices at http://guidedchristianmeditation.com/blog – please join me!

I also LOVE to eat! My love for food, however, wasn’t always a healthy one.  While physically, I would never qualify for The Biggest Loser television program, in my mind, my image of myself was right up there with the size of some of contestants.  Now that I have had the courage to express these feelings, the people who know me are shocked to learn about the thoughts and struggle that I had. Their looks express their thoughts, “Were you out of your mind?” Well, yes. When we are obsessed with food and how we look, we are out of our minds!

The other night I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies, four dozen to be exact, for a church service I attended. Yes, I licked the spoons and cleaned out the last remnants of dough at the bottom of the bowl which might have translated to consuming one cookie. That was it. I had no desire to have anymore. I have what I call – The Freedom to Eat. Food doesn’t control me anymore.

I know how tough it is during the holidays when it comes to eating, so I put together 7 Tips to help you not to gain weight, and at the same time, help you to enjoy this special and sacred time of the year.  Food shouldn’t ruin the holidays but enhance them.

Just fill out your name and valid email address and support will be on the way.

One last tip – Our obsessive and negative thoughts can seem to drive us crazy. Meditation is a powerful tool that can help clear the clutter from our minds. I’m so passionate about meditation that I’ve created an entire website dedicated to meditative practices: http://guidedchristianmeditation.com

As we were eating our Thanksgiving dinner I asked who had their mother’s recipes. I received a lot of blank stares as the conversation came to a screeching halt. My sister-in-law said she had the cookie recipe. No one else knew what happened to the others.

That made me think about how recipes are legacies. Recipes can keep the memory of someone around long after they are gone.

At that moment, I realized that I had just asked my mother for her pie crust recipe to make a pumpkin pie, but I didn’t have any of her other recipes. She is eighty-nine and will turn ninety next month. I’m seeing her tomorrow, so I will start the process of getting all of her classic recipes recorded.

My mother, Bea Bumbicka, is a fabulous cook. My love for cooking I owe to her. She was born in London, England and was trained through the Cordon Bleu, just like Julia Child. In fact, she bequeathed me her Mastering the Art of French Cooking book. The printing date is 1961. We have been Julia Child students for decades.

I hope my “ah-hah” moment to document loved ones’ recipes will inspire you to do the same. We owe it to the people we love to keep their legacy alive. Who would have thought that a simple recipe could do that?

On a side note – I have always let the month of December fly by with being too busy. This year I have drawn my peppermint stick in the sand to put a stop to that and celebrate Christmas for twenty-five days. Each day I will post a new Christmas Idea. Please join me at my other website dedicated to more spiritual ponderings and practices at http://guidedchristianmeditation.com.

I know that looking at all of these words looks like a time-consuming read – but this was truly quick to make. After looking through other casserole recipes, each one included cooking the casserole for another 30 minutes after assembling all of the ingredients. This only takes 3 minutes under the broiler after it’s assembled.

One of the hardest aspects of cooking is getting the timing on everything – in other words, getting it all to come together without getting stressed out. The few extra minutes you spend reading this will translate to more time that you will save.  I believe that people get frustrated or intimidated by cooking because they waste a lot of time in the process.

This will serve 4-6 people. You’ll need a heavy, deep, fry pan to make the sauce, a pasta cooking pot, and a 13×9x2 baking dish for the casserole. The ingredients you need are:

One fresh medium to small onion

One package – 8 oz. of fresh mushrooms (sliced or unsliced)

One package frozen peas – I bought the Green Giant Steamers sweet peas – it’s easy because you just throw the entire bag into the microwave

1/2 cup heavy cream (the 8 oz. carton will say whipping cream – which can be confusing but is correct)

1/4 cup dry sherry (I have a bottle of Taylor sherry. On the bottle it says “excellent for cooking.” Use real sherry not cooking sherry. I find it’s better to cook with wine and spirits that are the real thing. Sherry is great in Chinese recipes too, so you can use it again and again.)

2 Tablespoons flour

1/2-1 Cup grated cheddar cheese

2 Tablespoons butter

1/2-1 teaspoon garlic powder (or more to taste)

1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

1 Jar Ragu Light Parmesan Alfredo sauce

1 Can Swanson Chicken Broth – 33% less sodium

1 Package Linguine Pasta (I used 3/4 of the package)

2-3 Cups of cooked turkey cut into bite-sized pieces or cubes

Package of your favorite flavored bread crumbs (Panko, Italian, whatever you like)

Parmesan cheese to sprinkle on top

Get your water boiling for the pasta. Chop your onion fine and slice up the mushrooms. Get a big, deep, fry pan and set it on medium to medium high and throw in the butter until it melts. Then throw in your onions and mushrooms. Saute the onions until they are clear in appearance and the mushrooms have taken on a round, plumpish look.

If the water is at a rolling boil, put in 3/4 of the box of pasta. Set a timer for 10 minutes (read the label on cooking time. If it says to cook 11 minutes, I always set the timer one minute early to check on it. I can’t stand over cooked pasta. If it’s too firm, set the timer for another minute and taste one of the strands again.)

When you are six minutes into the pasta cooking process, put the peas into the microwave and cook for four minutes. The bag will say 5-6, but the peas will keep cooking in the bag. If you cook them too long they will get mushy and mushy peas are the worst! They will still need to be warmed up in the casserole, so don’t over cook them.

While the pasta is cooking, pour the Alfredo sauce into the onion and mushrooms. Save the jar. Reduce heat to medium. Stir. Take the chicken stock and pour about half of the can into the Alfredo sauce jar. (This will get all of the sauce out of the jar and serve as kind of an eyeball measuring cup too.) Shake it up and pour it into the pan. Stir. Take the small carton of heavy cream and pour it into the jar until it looks like half a cup – or half the carton.  Take half of the remaining chicken stock and pour it into the jar. Shake it up and slowly add it to the sauce. Then take the 1/4 cup of sherry and pour it into the sauce and stir. Add about 1/2-1 teaspoon of garlic powder and 1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg and stir.  (I know the nutmeg sounds crazy, but it’s great.) Stir in the 1/2-1 cup of cheddar cheese until melted.

If the sauce is thin, take your jar and pour in the remaining chicken stock. Add 2 heaping tablespoons of flour to the jar. Put on the lid and shake until there are no lumps. Pour the flour mixture slowly into the pan and stir until the sauce is the desired thickness.  If it’s too still thin, you can add water to the jar with more flour and repeat the process.  Use salt and fresh ground pepper to taste.  Also, if you like garlic add more if you wish.

When the pasta is done, (al-dente – Italian for a little chewy)  pour it into a strainer in the sink.

Add the turkey to the sauce and stir to warm through for a few minutes on medium heat.  Open the bag of peas and scoop out about three to four spoonfuls using a slotted spoon (depending on how much you like peas). Don’t pour the bag of peas into the sauce because there will be a lot of liquid left over which will ruin the taste of the sauce and water it down. (I did this once on another recipe!)

Stir all that together and then get your baking pan. Spray it with a cooking spray. Take the pasta and dump it in. Spread out the pasta evenly.  Now take your sauce and pour it all over the pasta until the pasta is covered.  Sprinkle Parmesan cheese on top and sprinkle the seasoned bread crumbs on top. The amount you use is up to you. I just lightly covered the dish with both ingredients.

Turn on your broiler and put the dish under the broiler for about two minutes. I first set my timer for five minutes and my gut told me to check on it after two.  I almost burned it! Check and see that it’s getting brown. I left it in for one more minute and that was it. The ingredients are already cooked. It’s just a matter of making it look pretty and brown.

It’s always great to share food that is lovingly prepared. Plus, cooking helps you feel a sense of accomplishment and even gives you courage! The more you cook, the more courage and confidence you will have. Plus, you’ll have a sense of joy. No wonder someone wrote a book on that.  Enjoy!