I don’t know what the statistic is for people wanting to lose weight to be healthier. I know that my motivation was never to be healthier; it was only to be thin. My thinking was, “If I could only be thin, I would be happy.”

Most of the time I dieted for the following reasons:

• It was my annual New Year’s resolution
• I was attending an upcoming reunion, wedding or party that I was invited to
• And always – the start of swim suit season or a vacation that would involve wearing a swimsuit

Notice none of these reasons were to feel better and be healthier. Also, none of these reasons involved a long-term goal. It was always a short-term fix.

I would reach a certain weight and my self-loathing would drive me to take some drastic action in the form of the latest diet, supplement, you name it – I tried it.

One motivation technique I used to lose weight was to keep a skinny pair of pants, usually two sizes too small, as a goal to strive for. All the pants did was reinforce how fat I had become. The truth of the matter was that I had never even worn the pants anywhere but in front of the dressing room mirror when I bought them and in front of my own mirror at home!

Another technique I’ve seen time and time again is someone tearing out a picture of a super model and taping it on their refrigerator door, right at eye level. This is supposed to motivate them to lose weight by constantly looking at the image  – a visualization exercise to help them visualize the goal and bring it into reality.

But there’s one problem… the super model is six feet tall and blond and the person wanting to lose the weight is five foot two and a brunette. Let me enlighten you, “Ain’t gonna happen.” If this person is successful in losing weight, when they look in the mirror, they aren’t going to see a super model. They will still see a short, brunette, and most likely, an image of a fat person looking back at them.

Yet, how many people use celebrities and super models as their bench mark for beauty and the results aren’t attainable? The media assaults us with images of how we are supposed to look. The irony is that through photography programs, these images aren’t even real to begin with! Chew on that for a while, calorie free.

The only way to be in the 5% is to realize that your self-esteem doesn’t come from looking in the mirror. Everyone’s outward beauty is going to fade over time. That’s a fact.

To be in the 5% of losers who are winners, you must begin to look in the mirror and love the person you see. You must care for the wonderful body you were given by eating well, getting enough rest and exercising. You must use food for sustenance and not love, comfort or even anger.

You must retrain your mind to think differently about yourself and about your eating habits. So when you do look in the mirror, the fat person you once saw will no longer be staring back at you. You’ll discover the real you who has been hiding under layers of fat and unhealthy beliefs. You’ll turn from being a loser to a winner, not only in the sport of dieting, but ultimately, you’ll be a winner in gaining control over your life. To read more about my triumph, check out my book The Freedom to Eat.