With this feeling of overwhelm and new awareness, I shared with a co-worker what was going on. I opened up about the problems in my marriage and the toxic work environments that I kept finding myself in.
I shared that my father had been an alcoholic – how he physically and verbally abused my mother.
In our household, we never talked about it, so I stuffed down my feelings–I stuffed them down with food. That led to an eating disorder. When diets no longer worked, I turned to bulimia as my solution – until it wasn’t.
She listened very attentively then asked if I had heard of co-dependency? I answered, “No.”
She told me to get a book called Co-Dependent No More.
I did and was shocked to discover that this book was all about me!
I thought my father’s alcohol problem was his problem not mine, because I wasn’t an alcoholic.
But I was a workaholic. I used food and alcohol to numb out. And I never spoke up to express my own needs.