I love this quote and use it a lot:
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”C. s. Lewis
When You Share Your Story You Won’t Feel Alone
As a published author, I’m frequently asked to speak and share my story. I had an opportunity at CPW, Connecting and Promoting Women, a wonderful group of women (and men) that meet the fourth Wednesday of each month in Chesterfield, Missouri.
At the end of the meeting, I had several people come up to me and tell me how much they appreciated my vulnerability and transparency in sharing. One woman came up to me after almost everyone had cleared out. After hearing my story, she felt safe to share her story with me. When she heard my story, she no longer felt alone.
When heart-breaking events happen to you, it’s easy to internalize the hurt and feel alone whether if it’s a dream you’re going after that isn’t happening fast enough, or a close relationship that you’ve lost. This is especially true when it comes to the parent/child relationship.
Childhood Trauma Stories
Growing up in the 1950’s, television portrayed the family unit as wholesome and without conflict with mothers and fathers like June Cleaver from Leave it to Beaver and Robert Young from Father Knows Best. For some people, they may have enjoyed that scenario, but for others, not so much.
That’s why I appreciated Rocketman, the story of Elton John. While he had wild success, the trauma he suffered as a child took its toll on him. He almost self-destructed, but sought help to heal.
After sharing a part of my childhood trauma, I’ll call her Tracy, came up to me to thank me. Through tears, she shared.
Her mother could not support her and her four brothers, so they ended up in foster homes. After some time, her mother was able to get them back. But she said to Tracy, “I don’t want you, but I had to take you back to get your brothers.”
As a mother, that comment was unimaginable to me to say to a child. Tracy now has grandchildren and her mother likes to see them on the weekend. So, she is in the difficult situation of living with this hurt that has not been healed.
As I shared the struggle with my mother as well, we both acknowledged that our faith and close relationship with God is the only thing that has gotten us through and continues to.
Traumatic Experiences Rewire the Brain
Lest you hear the words (and you will) from friends or other loved ones telling you to, “just get over it,” there’s scientific research that shows how trauma, especially at a young age, rewires the brain. Here’s a great article on the impact of childhood trauma.
Tracy thought she was “over it,” but her anger and the events have come back after many years.
If you have a difficult relationship with your mother, here’s a great article from Psychology Today called Unloved Daughters: 7 Strategies for Dealing with the Wounds. It explains why those feelings keep resurfacing.
Even though the hurt is there, I know that her sharing with me has helped her to begin to let go because she knows that she is not alone.
When You Share Your Story You Get Unstuck
If you are feeling stuck in your business or relationships and can’t seem to move forward, share your story and what you are experiencing:
Journal Out Your Story
In a prior post, 5
Immediate Ways to Enrich Your Life Through Journaling,
I explain how getting things onto paper will help clarify what you are struggling with. Journaling is the safest way to tell your story because there is no judgment. But you also don’t receive feedback.
Share Your Story with a Person or Group You Trust
It’s vitally important that you share your story with a person or group where you feel safe. It was easy to share my story with the Connecting Powerful Women group because it was a caring and nurturing environment.
Sometimes you just want someone to listen and that’s all you need. Other times, you may want feedback.
It’s wonderful to be with others for collaboration and expressing thoughts and ideas. For example, I’m involved with several women entrepreneur groups for support.
It was easy to find success in the corporate world because there were already systems and staffs in place. As a solopreneur, I’m working alone. Sharing my challenges helps me not to feel alone. Plus, I receive needed feedback if the steps I’m taking will lead me in a positive direction.
When you share your story, that opens the opportunity for others to share their stories too. And when we do that, we find that we are more connected and alike than we realize.
In this time where there is so much divisiveness, sharing our stories is more important than ever to unite us.
What have you experienced when you share your story? Respond in the comment section below. If you want to reach out to me personally to share your story, when you signed up to the Four Steps to Flow, or the first 2 chapters from my book, The Freedom to EAT – 10 Secrets for Lasting Weight Loss and Inner Peace, respond to the email directly. You can also reach me through the contact form above.
I count it a privilege when someone shares their story.